In Another Life
by Celestial-Silver-Rose
Summary: They would be together. They would be happy, and everyone would support them. Just not in this lifetime.


It started off innocent enough.

We were close friends— hung out in the same circle and spent most of our senior year together. We even chose to go to the same university after graduation.

We've known each other for years before we acknowledged the fact that our relationship was more than just platonic.

It was our 2nd year in university; Merida had just transferred back from DunBroch after convincing her mam that she wanted to continue her education in Disney. It took a bit of effort considering the fact that she already spent half of her high school life away from home, but DU is a Briar League uni, so she eventually relented. To celebrate Merida's return to the city we got the gang together— it wasn't that hard considering everybody else stayed in Disney City anyway.

Not surprisingly, alcohol was involved. Eugene, Rapunzel's new boyfriend, poured the drinks for everybody. He filled glass after glass a little too quickly, even forcing some of us to drink straight from the bottle.

We were all drunk half-way through, and that's all it took really; alcohol, a single kiss that was followed by a few more, and discreet touches in the days after. I didn't even pretend to forget about the kiss, and neither did he.

Maybe it would have worked out.

Maybe we would have gotten together, and our friends would have supported it. If not for the fact that he had a girlfriend, and I had a boyfriend.

It was wrong in every angle. Especially since we started to meet in secret after that forsaken night. Every kiss weighed heavy on my conscience, every touch adding to my guilt.

We knew we shouldn't, but we did anyway. We shouldn't have continued what had started, but we still kissed anyway. This time, with or without alcohol clouding our judgement.

Maybe I was attracted to him even before this whole thing started, and maybe he was attracted to me. I knew we were attached at the very least, we wouldn't have been so close otherwise.

It was a mistake, but we didn't treat it as such.

In between heady breaths and heavy sighs, he would whisper his affections to my ear; even when alarm bells rang in my head, even when we both knew that everything could go wrong in just a blink of an eye.

"We have to stop eventually," I told him once, as he traced patterns on my skin.

I clung to him in a warm embrace, knowing that it was the only time I could hold him like this: behind closed doors where nobody else was around.

When he didn't answer, I lifted my head to look up at him.

"Jack," I called out, earning his attention.

His blue eyes bore unto mine, and I could see that there were so many things left unsaid. I knew him, and he didn't need words to communicate them to me.

"This can't go on forever," I told him, not hiding the sadness in my voice. He would know anyway— he always did.

"I know, Elsa" he replied as he held on to me tighter. "Just let me have his moment." He sounded desperate— begging even— as he buried his nose in my hair and inhaled my scent.

We stayed like that for a longer time, pretending that it was okay. I had pretended too, because it felt good to be held by him.

I eventually broke up with my boyfriend. Things have been rough between me and Hans for a while now, even before Jack and I started our illicit affair. Sometimes I think that maybe the reason why I cheated was because Hans was a terrible boyfriend. He never treated me right, and often I would hear our friends spitting vile comments about how he acted towards me.

Pathetic really, because that's just me trying to justify my actions. If I were honest, I did what I did just because I wanted to.

Jack and I continued to meet in secret. We would steal touches, sneak kisses, and briefly hold hands under the table— all while our friends laughed around us, ignorant of what went on when he and I were left alone.

And then we got caught.

It all happened so suddenly that it left me disoriented and speechless. I couldn't answer the questions my friends threw at me: "How could you do this?" "When did it start?" "What about Toothiana?"

The last question would really get me most of all: yes, what about Toothiana?

Jack loved her.

Sure, they had their fights like any other couple, but Toothiana was the light of his world. Jack changed for the better when she entered his life, turned his messed up personality into something better because he wanted to be right for her. She was there even before Jack and I became friends.

She was an angel, and I felt the weight of what we did on my shoulders because I loved her as well. She trusted me, and I selfishly gave in to my desires without thinking about her.

"It's not fair to her," Jack had said, tears brimming in his eyes. "I love her, Elsa."

I nodded my head, my heart racked with guilt, because I knew that he did. He never said he loved me, and I never said it to him either. I wondered if our selfishness could be called love?

I didn't think so.

And as I held on to Jack— my best friend, my lover— for the last time, I felt all this bottled up emotions fill my chest. Sadness? Guilt? Happiness?

I was never hurt though. I already knew what I was up for when I charged into this heart first. I knew he wouldn't choose me, but I just wanted to have my cake and eat it too. Unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.

You can't have everything.

"Maybe in another lifetime, Jack," I told him as I gave him a sad smile.

Some of our friends didn't talk to me for a while. The other half that did talk to me, didn't talk to Jack. What we did changed the dynamic of our group. There was a rift between us, and most days I wished things would be different, but I have accepted that this was the consequence of our actions.

I never, however, wished that we didn't start what we started. I just wished we never got caught and managed to end it in our own terms. I knew that we would have eventually, even without the pressure from our peers. I guess my selfishness was still present.

"Are you in love with him?" Rapunzel asked me one day.

It took a while for me to answer, but when I did, I looked her directly in the eyes.

"No."

She nodded her head, believing what I said and moved on to another topic.

I listened to her rant about university, how the amount of work piled up and with that, her backlogs.

I quietly sipped my coffee, nodded my head and gave my input when cued, but in my head, I replayed the answer I gave her earlier. I knew— as the word left my mouth— that it was a lie.

I was in love with Jack.

But they didn't need to know that— not even him.

**Note:**

Hello, reader! Thank you for reading my first uploaded fic. It's been a while since I put out one of my written stories, but I hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it. It's un-beta'd, so I apologize for any mistakes you encountered while reading.

Intentionally written as a short one shot. I started it off in third POV, but I wanted to convey the feelings of one of the characters in a more intimate way so I change it to first POV.

Also, let me be clear that I do not condone cheating on your partner in anyway, but I wanted to write something that explored a different aspect. Not every love story is cookie-cutter perfect. Sometimes it starts in the most inconvenient of ways and times, and sometimes it doesn't always end the way you want it to, but as the French say, _"c'est las vie"._

_xoxo,_

Rose


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